Things Your Atlanta Doula Wants You to Know (After Your Baby Is Here)

(A goodbye-for-now love note from your doula team)

** True story. As I started to type this, I hadn’t even typed a word, yet I started to cry. I texted Milene, “Oh gosh. Starting the goodbye post and crying already.” So. Whew. Here we go… **

Dear you,

You did it.

Whether your birth looked exactly the way you’d hoped or took more twists than anyone expected, you walked through something huge. We watched you do hard things for yourself and your baby, and we are so, so proud of you.

If there was ever a moment where you weren’t doing a great job, we would have said so. The fact that we hugged you, squeezed your hand, and told you “You did it great” is because you truly did.

Now you’re on the other side of birth, and we want you to know a few things from our doula hearts.

We still think about you (even when we’re not in your texts)

In late pregnancy, it can feel like we were always just one message away. We’re watching your updates, tracking your due window, and ready to jump when you say “I think something’s happening.”

After birth, the rhythm changes.

You’ll hear from us for the photos, visits and check-ins that were part of your package, and sometimes just because we’re thinking of you. But you may notice that we’re:

• Not texting quite as often

• A little slower to reply

• Gently reminding you to reach out to your provider, therapist, or lactation support for certain things

It isn’t because we stopped caring or “moved on.” It’s because:

• New babies are arriving

• Other parents are entering their own “any day now” phase

• We’re visiting families at home and in the hospital

• We also have to sleep, eat, and be human so we can keep doing this work well

And if we’re honest, it’s hard for us too.

We get used to checking our phones for your name, reading your updates first, and holding our breath with you. It takes intention for us to slow down that texting rhythm, to put our phones down at night, and to let the relationship shift. We miss you. We miss the little snapshots of your day and the way your baby was taking up space in our minds long before they arrived.

You are still on our minds. We miss you. We tell stories (the non-identifying kind) of your strength and your humor and the way you handled things you never thought you could handle.

We’re just holding you alongside a lot of other families now, instead of keeping our eyes on one due date.

We’re here to hash out your birth story with you

Right after birth, everything can feel sharp and vivid. Then, slowly, the details blur. Time stamps get fuzzy. You might wonder, “Did that happen before or after they checked me?” or “What exactly did they say about baby’s heart rate?”

This is normal. Birth is big. Your brain did a lot of intense work to keep you going.

If you want to walk through your birth story with us, we would love that. You can still reach out.

We won’t remember every single detail, but we remember the big emotional beats: when things shifted, when you were brilliant and brave, when the room changed, or when someone finally listened.

As time passes, your story may be fuzzy for all of us. However, if something is nagging at you, it’s okay to ask.

We love seeing your baby grow (even months or years later)

We truly, deeply love getting baby photos.

If you ever wonder, “Is it weird to send them a picture?” the answer is no. We adore photos of “firsts” (first bath, first solid food, first steps, first birthday, first day of school).

Sometimes we’re slow to reply with more than a heart emoji, but those updates mean more than you know. They’re little reminders of why we do this work.

Feel free to connect with us on IG as well. https://www.instagram.com/atlanta_birth_collective/

We will not always remember every name, but we remember you

We meet a lot of families, partners, grandparents, nurses, and tiny humans. Our brains are full of due dates and birth times and “who’s on call tonight.”

We want you to know:

• We might blank on a baby’s name or a partner’s name if we run into you at Target

• We might remember your face instantly, but need a second for the details to load

• We may say, “Remind me of your baby’s name!” and mean it with so much affection

We remember the feeling of your birth. We remember the sound of your laugh, the way you squeezed our hand, the tears in your eyes when you heard that first cry. Names can slip. The way it felt to be with you usually doesn’t. We often surprise ourselves with how much we remember.

If you see us in the wild, please come say hi. We will be thrilled.

And yes, seeing you again in the grocery store aisle might make us miss you all over again, but in the best way.

It’s ok if we don’t hear from you either, you have your mind on more important things :)

You can still ask us questions (and we’ll be honest about how we can help)

Even after your official postpartum visits are finished, it’s okay to reach out.

You can message us about anything. We’ll always tell you the truth about what we can and can’t hold.

You are never bothering us by asking for advice or support. We would always rather you reach out than sit alone with something exciting, or heavy.

This is a goodbye-for-now, not a goodbye-forever

Our formal time together - your package, your on-call window, and your visits, will come to an end. That’s part of how we make sure we can show up fully for the next family, and the next.

But in our hearts, the story doesn’t end when the contract does.

We carry you forward:

• When we walk into another room with a family facing something similar

• When we encourage a new parent who doesn’t see how strong they are yet

• When we talk about the quiet courage we’ve seen in labor rooms all over Atlanta

If you need more of us later, you are welcome to reach out!

From all of us at Atlanta Birth Collective:
We love you. We’re proud of you. You did so much more than you realize!

And if you ever wonder whether we still think of you, the answer is yes. We do. All the time.